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American Idol - The Great Queen Massacre American Idol
by CaptainKettle
Apr 11th, 2006

Seacrest starts the show by asking "Can anyone match up to Freddie Mercury" as if it's NOT a rhetorical question. Earth to Seacrest: the answer is NO! This has to be the most terrible theme night in the history of the show. What's up next, Rush?

Bucky has a new haircut and up first to show it off. Regular readers may recall that I have Bucky an A- for his performance last week - I don't know if that's because Bucky is getting better or if it's because everyone else was so terrible. I suppose we'll find out as Bucky comes on stage to doing "Fat Bottomed Girls." I can't believe I'm going to say thing, but this isn't bad. Not bad at all. In fact, I think this is a good performance. Easily his best yet. It's even better than good. Paula and Randy call it good, Simon calls it just mediocre. I'm gonna give it an A-.

Ace comes on next sporting the haircut as Bucky, and they show a clip of Ace explaining to Brian May how he wants them to play the song. "Uhhh, I don't think we're gonna do your arrangement." Nice going Ace. As if your limp looking handshake with him wasn't enough, you've embarassed yourself even further. Ace then proceeds to gay up "We Will Rock You," using every weapon in his arsenal - leather pants, fancy strutting, female backup singers, a different arrangement, falsetto, and ... oh god, just make it stop. Randy gives it a 5 or 6. "I didn't get it." You're not the only one dog. Simon says "I think Randy was just being generous." And Randy agrees! Simon: "It was like We Will Rock You Gently. I hated it." I agree. Bye Bye Ace. Thanks for coming on Idol. F.

Pickler comes on next and wastes no time bringing up her dad as she explains why she chose Bohemian Rhapsody. She stands decked out in leather and 8 inch heels while she proceeds to mangle the song. Predictably. Oh, there's no way that this mess isn't making my bottom three of the week. Randy liked it. Paula liked it. Simon said it was good. Simon: looked bad on paper. Pickler: "Whaaa On paper? He has the weirdest terminology! haha!" "I don't have an accent!" Gag. Wink. D-.

Chris doing "Innuendo," a song that Queen had never performed live. Up until now, the band has seemed less than thrilled with each of the contestants. Brian May says, of Chris, "Chris is great. I was warned - my daughter says he's awesome. He is. [] Fabulous." I guess we know who has Queen's vote, huh? Randy tries to fake Chris out with "I was expecting big things from you tonight ... (hangs head, shakes...) ... and you DELIVERED!" Paula basically says that Chris is better than Queen and most other bands. Simon says best vocal, but that the song was too indulgent. I give an A. Best of the night so far.

Katharine does "Who wants to Live Forever" instead of her original choice, because she wanted it to be simple, so she could just stand there. Hmm. I think that's a bad approach - while that may appeal to those infected with the McPheever, it's not going to impress anyone else when surrounded by a bunch of up-tempo songs. The performance isn't bad, but she's oversinging it. Good to better than good vocals, but not phantastic. Dog said good job all in all, Paula says great job, Simon says that it was "almost the moment." I suppose I'd give it a B.

Elliott sings "Somebody in Love," a song he'd never heard before this week. Hm, I'm not sure I've ever heard it either. Oh, wait, I know this song. Elliott's performance is ok. Randy loved it. Paula says "best vocal of the night." Simon says that he probably pulled it off. I give it a B+.

Taylor starts out planning to do "We are the Champions" but then changes to "Crazy little thing called love." Good call, I think. He tries to kick over the mic stand but misses. Hah! Good vocals. Great Performance, even with the kick-whiff. Randy and Paula love it. Simon thought it was "ridiculous" and asks Taylor if he's drunk. A- from me.

Paris closes the show with "the show much come on." Brian: "the thing about Paris is that she's DAMN good. I like everything about Paris." More high praise from a legendary performer. Paris delivers and excellent performance with excellent vocals. Also dressed in all black, I think it's safe to say that Paris was everything that Pickler tried (and failed) to be. Gotta give this one an A.

Best:

Chris

Paris


Bucky

Worst:

Ace

Pickler

Prediction for person voted off: Ace.

 

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