American Idol - Top Ten Women

Spooky Stevie and Boyish Becky are gone, leaving 10 mostly mediocre women to compete for the final 6 spots. Seriously, this gaggle of girls is so middling that I'm wondering why I even bothered to tune in. Other than Paris and Lisa, this season's girls would have a hard time getting jobs as lounge singers.

Hey, maybe it'll be loudmouthed Brenna's last performance - and maybe she'll cry when she gets the big boot. That's something to look forward to, right?

Katharine McPhee is kicking off the night with a little Stevie Wonder. Last week, I wasn't very impressed with wanna-be-Babs, and this week is no different. She is terrible - her voice is scratchy, the pitch is all over the place, she sounds whiney. It's just "ok" for Randy. Paula agrees with Randy and chalks it up to song choice, yet calls her "brilliant." huh? Simon also hated it. Seriously, this McPhee has to be the most overrated contestant in Idol history. I don't get why people think she's moderately good, let alone "great." D.

Kinnik dons a cowboy hat and tells us that she loves country music, and that to "represent" she's going to do some Gretchen Wilson. Sky may be "here for the party" but her performance is definitely forgettable. Still, it was eons better than McPhee's. I feel like the show is just getting started. The judges all tell her that the song choice was poor. I think it's more that the girl just ain't a star. Good performance though. B.

Lisa Tucker does the Jackson Five's "Who's Loving You." At first I thought "huh?" but have come to see why she picked it - the song lets her show off her incredible range. No, this isn't a great song for Idol, but she sounds great. Randy doesn't like it. Paula loves it and can't understand why Lisa doesn't have a recording contract yet. Simon predicts that she will "sail through" tonight. B+.

Melissa "Rita Cosby" McGhee does "Why Haven't I Heard From You." This woman's voice bugs me so much that I can hardly listen to her sing, let alone talk. Jackson likes it, and calls her "smokey" voice "hot." Ick. Paula agrees. Simon also likes the voice. Has the world gone mad? C+.

Heather Cox is doing "Hero" by Mariah Carey. Yaaaaaawn, I'm already falling asleep. The singing isn't "bad" per say, but it's dull. Mediocre. Forgettable. And what's up with the faces that Heather makes while singing? I haven't seen faces that frightening since Becky. And there's something very weird about the way this girl conducts herself. I think she's probably batshiat crazy in real life. Look out for your bunnies while she's around, men. The judges don't like the performance. Neither do I. C.

Brenna is up next, which means that I'm hitting the tivo-skip button a few times. Get off my screen, witch. F.

Paris "the only reason Tuesday-night-Idol is worth watching" Bennett is up next with "Wind Beneath My Wings." WTF is up with that song choice? She messes up the words and sings "Did you ever know you were my hero." Twice. Good singing, poor song choice. Boring. The judges are similarly underwhelmed. Maybe Tuesday-night-Idol isn't worth watching anymore. B-.

Should I even bother finishing this show? I honestly think that I could never watch this season's women sing again and be better off for it. I'm going to have to hope that my dark horse bracket-buster pick Mandissa comes through and makes me feel like I didn't just waste an hour and a half of my life.

Ayla is singing some Celine Dion - it's almost as if Idol is engaged in a night long conspiracy to put America to sleep. Maybe they're trying to impact Boston Legal's ratings or something. Boooooring. C+.

Pickler's doing Bonnie Raitt, but first we have to gag through a backstory about how delightfully naive she is. "I had my first squid - I guess they call that 'kal-eee-murh---ee?" Pickler's overall performance is among the best of the night, but that's really not saying much. Still, not bad. The judges all love it, and Simon even says that he found the calimari part "delightful." Gag. A-.

Mandissa is performing "Cry" by "Faith Hill." Easily the best vocal of the night. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - keep an eye on Mandissa. The judges mostly agree that it was pretty good. I give it an A.

Best of the Night:
1. Mandissa
2. Pickler
3. Lisa

Predicted departures:
1. BWitchy Brenna (please, America)
2. Heather Cox

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