American Idol Kickoff: The Women Perform

Mandissa kicks off the show by rocking out to Heart's "Never." Wow! She's really good. All of the judges are impressed, Paula much more than that others. I'm pretty impressed, too.

Unfortunately for Kellie, she has to follow Mandissa. She's doing a Martina McBride song, which she explains is supposed to be a love song, but she's singing it for her incarcerated father. Ummmm... ok there. Whatever. And unfortunately, she's terrible. TERRIBLE! Cute girl, but apparently tone deaf. I'm afraid that I previously overestimated Ms. Pickler - by quite a bit. The judges don't rip her as bad as I would, that's for sure. Simon even says that he thought she did "really well." hmm. Shows what I know.

I'll tell you one thing, though - if I have to sit through a season of hearing Kellie share her "story" over tears and moans, I'd rather see her get voted out tonight.

Becky is up next doing "Because the Night." There is something about her singing that I really, really dislike. Her voice is too throaty and a few octaves too deep. And she makes these weird faces like she's in constant, writhing pain. I'm in pain just having to listen to this. I'd definitely give her a "D" for this performance. Randy "loved" the performance. Paula says "there were notes that were off." Gee, understatement of the evening. Comeon Paula, just come out and say it - it was terrible. Simon says that her voice isn't that great. I guess the judges are playing with kid gloves tonight.

Ayla is singing "Reflections," and she explains that it's because the song reminds her of playing boy's football. Or something like that. Um, ok, whatever. She hasn't even started singing yet and I'm already sick of her. Boo. Her performance is, to borrow a phrase from Mr. Cowell, "forgettable." She isn't good enough to be in this competition. Randy and Paula like it - they were both "very pleasantly surprised." Simon also has positive things to say, and that "she did good."

Paris (aka future finalist) is up next doing "Midnight Train to Georgia." Good song choice. I think she does a pretty good job of singing, but I'm a little put off by all the bouncing around she does on stage. Randy says she was amazing and can't stop talking about Ann Nesby. Paula says that Paris is her Idol. Simon's also very impressed.

The girl named Stevie is up next, doing what she says was a originally an opera song later re-done by Josh Grobin. I have no idea how this girl even got invited to Hollywood, let alone made the finals. Here she goes. She's singing soft. She's not hitting the notes. She's infusing an opera falsetto voice. (EARTH TO STEVIE: THIS ISN'T "OPERA IDOL.") I don't like her at all. Randy: "Wow, that was definitely different." Simon: You completely and utterly messed that up. "It was like being at some horrible Sunday lunch and some child getting up to sing." Bingo.

Attitude impaired Brenna is up next. I hate almost everything about this woman. So much, in fact, that I'm not even going to watch her performance. Bye honey, I'm sure this will be your last night.

Heather Cox is up next singing "When you tell me that you love me," a song that was "made famous by the Idol finalists from last year." Bad idea honey - the judges will only see how you don't do it as well as the finalists from last year. This has to be the worst song choice in the history of the show. Terrible performance, too - it's like it's open mike night. Randy says it was boring, pitchy and off key. Paula agrees with Randy. Simon: it was forgettable. Horrible.

Melissa is identified as being a "beauty contest contestant." I guess she would have to announce that, because to look at her, you certainly can't tell. She must not have won very often. She's singing "When the Lights go Down" by Faith Hill. I don't know that I've heard the original, and if it's anything like this performance, I think I'm fortunate. I thought it was terrible. Randy didn't think it was amazing. Paula thinks it was great, a "shining moment" for her. Paula tells her she has a "sexy, sultry voice." WHAT? She sounds like a freaking man! There is nothing sexy about that.

They must have spiked the hotel water with testosterone this year.

I've been picking Lisa Tucker to finish in the top 4 based on her previous performances - we'll see what I know. Tonight she's doing "I'm Changing" by Jennifer Holliday. A song I've never heard by an artist I've never heard of. Great. Good voice. She's hitting the notes really well. Kind of a boring song. Good ending, though. Yep, I think she will be in the top 4 or 5 for sure. The judges seem to agree.

Kinnick Sky does another song that I've never heard, "Get Here" by Alita Adams. Good voice, but I'm not "wowed." I don't know what it is - some contestants have "it." She doesn't. Randy gives it a 6. Paula liked it. Simon thinks it was cabaret.

And the final performance is by Katharine, the contestant who did "God Bless the Child" in her audition. Tonight she's doing "Since I fell for you" by Barbara Streisand. She says that she really idolizes and wants to be just like Babs. Oy vey, let's hope that she doesn't go any further than tonight, the world doesn't need another opinionated clebrity squwak box. Her performance is pretty good, though. One of the best tonight, I think. The judges seem to agree.

My top four:
Paris
Mandisa
Lisa
Katharine

My Bottom Four:
Brenna
Brenna
Brenna
Brenna

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